Juiii Jeng

Jui Jeng! Known him since form 3 when he sat beside me. He used to ask me about English words until I actually felt ‘fan’ about it. Now that I think about it, I am starting to miss the way he asked me. Miss the time when I asked him the meanings of some deep Chinese words I didn’t understand, he would explain to me patiently until I understood. Patient guy, I shall say. He would scribble some words or draw some pictures in my notebook. Once in a while, would flip back those pages and miss the good old times.

Once, we walked out from class to the school gate as usual. The sun was rather hot but there was cloud in the sky and he said something that I still remember until now. "有云又不遮太阳哦." funny :D

And, and there's one time he made the whole class laughed. In Physics test paper, he knew the answer was stroboscope but he didn't know how to spell it so he wrote 'sporgato'... made us 4 laughed so loud can! Even Mr Yong was shaking his head that time. Aduh! So don't be surprised I saved his number as 'Sporgato' in my hp. haha.

So, today is his 18th birthday! Dedicating this post to the birthday boy. He’s lucky, you know. To have his birthday celebrated on New Year’s Eve. Otherwise, he’s gonna spend his birthday in NS. Really excited to meet him few days later. I wanna ask all about his life in NS and how he managed to survive there! hehe. Happy birthday again, birthday boy. Good luck in the scholarship application. =]

Laundry

Did my laundry today. First time ever in 17 years. Ok I am not some sort of hardworking, nice daughter who always helps out at home. It was actually tiring to do laundry since my arms are weak. Thank god we have washing machines. I wanna hug and kiss the one who invented them.

Memoriesss.

Went to Bank Islam yesterday to withdraw my salary and close the account. I thought it would be a very complicated and long process. Turned out it took me 10 minutes to close it nia. And boy, was I scratching my head hard, thinking where to head to until mum came to fetch me at 4.30pm.

So I walked and walked. Went to the pasar malam to buy mashimaro slippers.



My babies. :D But they're too small for me. -.-

Anyway, I just walked and walked. Walked and walked till I arrived dad's office. Ended up dad and I went home together. And guess what???

Before we went home, dad asked me to accompany him to exchange some money to AUD. And off we go! Walked to a money exchange shop called 明强. The name was familiar. It was at the back of a shop which is just beside my grandpa's old shop. Dad even knew the aunt and uncle in the shop. And guess what??? That was sui seng's shop! Even the aunty and his mom recognised me by asking me if I am his classmate. Small world, indeed.

Before we left, dad insisted I took a pic with the shop 'coz it is gonna be abolished soon and I'll be away by then. Dad then asked me if I still remember the image of grandma cooking at the kitchen upstairs(with the window one) and I said no and dad was like, what?? why?? you were there!! and I went like, ooh? how old was I then? and he said, you were 4 years old, aiya should be big enough to remember ba! -.-




Me with the old shop with a window. Sui Seng's shop on my left.

Dad went on with his childhood stories in the old shop while on the way home and I was thinking, I'm gonna miss Miri. Big time.

Chia Weeeee

Outdated.



Sorry ah Chia Wee, this post is quite quite outdated. Was in my draft and just found out I didn't post it up. heh.

Anyway, 16 Jan was her 19th birthday. Had a surprised party for her at Michelle's house and well, seemed that she wasn't surprised at all. Thanks to myself. -.-

Anyhow!! 19 years old! One more year and you'll reach your twenties, wahahaha. SOOoo happy for you~ =P Don't forget to chia me makan when you got your salary yea. haha.

Card

Finally, an interesting event happened! Received Faye's CNY card from KL!! Omfish. My mood was dull at first then when my kakak passed it to me, I was like, omfish omfish omfish!!! So touched can T__T. I mean, who would use old-fashioned way to send greetings nowadays? haha! Thanksssss zhu faye!!






Me love mashimaro.

Homestay For Me

Ended up going to homestay after all. Was having trouble with accommodation. First, it was homestay. Then, found out I don't need to be. So, apartment for me. Then, things aren't as smooth as I thought it would be. So, in the end, yup, homestay for me.

Dunno if I should feel happy or not. There's this money issue where homestay is a lot more expensive than staying by myself. But on the other hand, I am glad that I get to be homestay with the couples. Well, I guess it could be fun to stay with a movie decorator and a nurse or some sort? At least, I'm not staying there alone. Sophia will be accompanying me as well. Oh yeah, 2 more dogs and cats.

I wish I can update here with more interesting stuff. But none. I don't think playing hide and seek with my bro is an interesting thing to update. So yeah. Lame ending, as always.

世界上有两件事是永远勉强不了的。小时候是学习兴趣，长大了是爱情。勇敢放弃，勇敢面对，勇敢重新开始。当他不再爱你，他是否爱过后来却忘记了，又或者从未爱过。总之，当你无法成为他心里的那个人的时候，他的心便不会记得你，更不会在乎你。就算他知道你深爱他，偶尔也能感觉得到你的关系，但他宁可装作是不知道。

不爱了的那个人永远是先放得开的。所以请你也不要折磨自己，痛苦太长时间、要学会自然，如果你选择强接受，你们的结束会被认为是没有缘份。也许在他的心里还会留下些许的遗憾。可是如果你不够理智，总是想做一些事情挽回这段已经不可能存在的爱情，那么你们的结束只能被他看成是性格不合。当他不再爱你的时候，请不要在你不开心、或者是遇到麻烦而彷徨的时候去打搅他，他那绝对不是你此刻应该的去处。也许他会在接到你的电话的时候，淡淡地安慰你几句，并且说衷心祝福你快乐，却也仅此而已，当他不爱你的时候，你的爱、你的人，就会显得廉价许多。你占了下风，这是人的本性。也许你会再想要一点什么，于是说“我们再见一面吧！我们可以一起吃顿饭吗？如果你以为吃顿饭、见一面就能挽回你失去的爱情。那么你就大错了，太傻了。而他心里肯定很烦躁了。他会说：我现在有点事情等有机会吧。晚点的时候你再给我电话吧，或者我给你电话也可以。”而你这时千万不要当真，他只是找了个不是很高明的理由来推塞你。

请…不要真的去等，不要骗自己，更没有必要伤心，他的忙碌不会因为你的等待而终止。生活中很多事情对于他来说都是很重要的。而对于他来说最无所谓的就是逝去的爱情了，当他不在爱你的时候，请不要与他讲你的琐事，也不要没话找话说，这些是最愚蠢的，也是最无所谓的，也许此刻，善良的你痴情的你，不过希望让彼此更熟悉一些，不要一下子感觉太生疏。

其实你只是暂时过不了自己这一关，他却无暇更是没有兴趣去了解你，你的生活，你的过去，你的长处短处与他又何干了，即使讲了他也很快会忘记。就如他忘记曾经对你说过的话一样。没有爱注定你挤不进他的生命，即使你要的哪怕只是一个很小的角落。在他眼里你曾经有过的优点全部都成为一种负累，不会再成为吸引他的理由。

当他不再爱你的时候不要老给他发短信，问他好不好，他如果工作压力大、你的短信只会给他带来烦躁，并不能使他摆脱压力，而他如果真的很好，那么你心里知道就好，学会默默关心并且祝福他吧！当他不再爱你的时候，不要再回忆你们曾经有过热烈拥抱和深情的吻了，那样只会让你更不能自拔。过去的就是过去了，更不要傻到家的跟他要求再吻你一次吧，再抱你一下可以吗？因为这个拥抱这个吻不会有足够的魔力让你重新爱上你，他即便出于，不好拒绝你的原因，让你吻过了抱过之后，你们注定还是要分开，何必要让不再爱你的他为难，而自己更加舍不得离开他呢？

还有偶尔你的梦里也许还会出现他的身影，千万不要给他电话或信息告诉他，你会被认为太不成熟。即使梦里真的出现了，他也是很正常的试着给自己点时间慢慢遗忘吧！
别对自己太苛刻！当他不再爱你的时候，请不要在他的面前伤心…

Thoughts

Had a good chat with Eleanor, daughter of my mum's friend, who just came back from Adelaide. She's studying Mass Com and she was really nice to share with us her experience over there. My heart lightens up a lot. Really. It sounds like it wasn't really that bad, after all.

And I wonder, would I be out there playing and having fun with new friends once I get used to the new environment or would I follow my plan earlier on which is to do revision every night?

It seems odd to revise every night after dinner, no? But parents have been brain-washed me. Persistence, girl. Persistence.

One thing that I feel odd is that seeing everyone is continuing their studies now, I am still shaking my legs, watching tv. I actually envy them that their classes start early. But I don't think I will have the same thought once I start my foundation. Sure enough, I definitely will miss the comfortable life in Miri. Miri will always be the best, in my heart.

Blur

My future's such a blur. Don't know what I wanna be and what I should do. Pain in the head.

Outside it's raining.

Cold & windy.

Up & down.

The rain pours down and rises up as water vapour.

My mood has its ups and downs too.

Been so weird lately. Is being indifferent okay? But if I want to be that way, I shouldn't ask like that, no? I should act so-what-like-i-care style.
....
So, read my lips. L i k e I c a r e .

Kemas-ed and Sealed

Just kemas-ed the things I should have kemas-ed long long time ago. And you know what? I felt GREAT. Haiyo, instinct should have told me earlier to kemas it ma, so that I can have that GREAT feelings earlier ma. haha.

Sealed it and never opened it again. It will just stay as how it should be.

Couple Pics

Cold & Lonely

Cold and lonely morning. Woke up at 1am because of the lightning and thunder. Yes, I'm easily awaken. Then, really beh tahan so grabbed my pillow and stuff and moved to my parents' room to sleep. Couldn't sleep well. At 6 something, went back to my own room to sleep again until 9 something. When I woke up, I just felt completely and totally...lost. Lonely. Empty. PMS? nope, not so fast, but what's wrong with me?

Had a hair cut at Kelvin today. My head actually lightens up a lot. Great.

Hmm, so anyway, sis's at KL now, bro's going back to sch starting tomorrow, so..that ends up me being alone at home. I might do crazy things like flipping back Form 5 Physics and Add Math books. Scared, ya know that feeling? Scared of failing and having to resit again. Man, I'm so excited. yeah right.

Built This Way

Did you ever feel like you wanna be
Someone else for just one day,
Did you ever feel like you wanna
See through another pair of eyes,
Did you ever think I'm a wannabe with
Anyone else for just one day,
Did you ever you really think of me when i walked away?

You look, you don't sound apologetic,
You smoke your subjects at my eyes, like you think,
You know where you think you'll find, you think you'll figure me out tonight,
But you'll never know what i won't share,
Cause I don't care and I don't care,
You think you'll figure me out tonight,
But I don't care,

And I wonder, if I'm just built this way,
Cause every man that I know, makes me feel like'I'm too plain'
When it's over me and my selfish ways,
Go back to start again, go back to start again.

Did you ever feel like you should have said
Something smarter at that time,
Did you ever feel like you should have kept
It all to yourself,
Did you ever think it might be your fault
And never promise anymore,
Did you ever think it might not be me
No it was always me?

You look, you don't sound apologetic,
You smoke your subjects at my eyes, like you think,
You know where you think you'll find, you think you'll figure me out tonight,
But you'll never know what i won't share,
Cause I don't care and I don't care,
You think you'll figure me out tonight,
But I don't care,

And I wonder, if I'm just built this way
Cause every man that I know, makes me feel like'I'm too plain'
When it's over me and my selfish ways
Go back to start again

And I wonder, if I'm just built this way
Cause every man that I know, makes me feel like'I'm too plain'
When it's over me and my selfish ways
Go back to start again, go back to start again

You look, you don't sound apologetic,
You smoke your subjects at my eyes, like you think,
You know where you think you'll find, you think you'll figure me out tonight,
But you'll never know what i won't share,
Cause I don't care and I don't care,
You think you'll figure me out tonight,
But I don't care,

And I wonder, if I'm just built this way
cause every man that I know, makes me feel like'I'm too plain'
When it's over me and my selfish ways
Go back to start again,

And I wonder, if I'm just built this way
cause every man that I know, makes me feel like'I'm too plain'
When it's over me and my selfish ways
Go back to start again, go back to start again

Go back to start again.

Sien. Mood so bad. Why am I even here when I don't have stuff to write about except that I am down, I feel bullshit. haha.

Hello, everyone. And bye, for now.