Letter to Her

There's someone who always sits in front of the pc after working. Despite being tired, she will still be spending her only free time to talk to me. I thought, hey this is a bit annoying 'coz I have to talk to her every single night. And every time i sign in my MSN, there will be messages left by her, from teaching me how to wash the fruits properly instead of just rinsing it to tell me to the pharmacy to buy myself some Vitamin C because she's so worried I might be getting swine flu. I mean, c' on. I'm learning to handle stuff on my own here and well, she can't keep telling me what to do even after I get married and have my own family. Just imagine, when I am changing the baby's diaper, the phone rings and I pick up and on the other side, she will be telling me 'the baby's crying again? lemme teach you how to change the diaper properly' or 'gotta shake the milk before feeding the baby'... The thing is, I am growing up. She has to accept the fact that I am no longer that little girl who used to ask her for help. (okay maybe sometimes I do still need her help) I may still be that little girl in her heart, but I wish that she can spend more time for her own. I know she loves baking cakes. She should bake cakes more often now or even create her own recipes! Now that there is only that brat at home, I am sure that she has more time doing the things that she likes to do and not just for the family. Can't she be selfish after years of taking care the family? Oh yeah, I almost forgot, there's this guy whom she loves so much that she's spending her time on as well. ; ) Well, at least she won't get so lonely when the three of us are not at home. 'It's late. Go to sleep.' Here, I want to let her know that I know my limits and I will go to sleep early if I can. Okay, sometimes being playful and all that, but I am still managing my time well. So don't worry!
There's plenty of things that I wanna share with her, and also apologise to her. But, being the pai seh one, I couldn't make the words out when am on the phone with her.
Last year was like hell. She was having a hard time like me as well. Backache, grandma's sickness almost killed her. Plus, my ignorance added to her burden. Luckily, she managed to pull it through and that's her alright.
But no matter how tough she is, her heart is as fragile as glass. Her health gets worse each day. Her face has more wrinkles. I am worried someday she might collapse. I can't imagine that one day if she does, how would she feel 'coz I know, she would still be thinking about the family that time and would have the utmost helpless feeling that anyone including me could imagine.
I had public speaking competition in primary. She spent nights, correcting my mistakes. She listened to me patiently. She had work to do the next morning, yet she was by my side when I was practising.
I had KH projects on sewing in secondary. I tried and tried to sew a piece of cloth. I failed. She spent one night to transform an old cloth to a piece of decent-looking handkerchief. She didn't sleep until she was done with it at 3am. I got A- in that project.
I had SPM to sit for that one whole month. She would prepare nutritious drink and do many silly stuff for me which I laughed at her for being stupid that time like buying a NanoCan. She still thinks that it is good for my brain when I drink water from it.
She's involved in every stage of my life. From spoon-ing food to my mouth, holding my hand to kindergarten, bringing me to the park, fetching me to tuitions, friends' parties, to sending me off to college. What's next for the next 4 or 5 years? She might be helping me to find jobs if I manage to graduate.. What's next for the next 10 years? She might be helping me to find a lifetime partner. ... She might be too old to do all those, but she still has the heart. Yeah, that heart. She's just too stubborn and busybody, trying to get involved in my life. She never learns...
Well, tomorrow's her special day. By right, my birthday should be HER day. Anyway, since I am not by her side tomorrow, I might as well prepare a treasure hunt for her.
In my cupboard,
There's pile of papers and files.
Underneath or maybe in between those,
You'll find an envelope,
Open it and unveil my heart.
Happy Mother's Day.
With love, your little girl.