Sorry Buddy

Mr. Thoo is scary.

We had BM lessons on Tuesday. He was so angry when there wasn't any chair for him to sit so he marched out of the class and rather sat at the bench outside than to stay in our class. I had to take my buddy's chair to replace since he wasn't at class during that time. Fine, he wasn't angry anymore when he came back but KSS sure wasn't happy about me taking his chair without his permission. So he had to sit at Dang's place.

Then the next day, Wednesday, before BM lesson, I moved my chair to WC's place and when Mr. Thoo entered the class, I was walking around here and there. I didn't notice he took my chair! Darn.. I had no choice but to sit at buddy's seat. And when buddy came back from Brassband, he was unhappy again as he had to sit at other people's place again.

Sorry buddy.

Blame Mr. Thoo for that.

不想再blur下去了！！

从小到大，我最不会的就是认人。每次都是这样，他们觉得这为朋友很差劲，只有我认为这为朋友很不错。如果不是他们告诉我这位朋友的坏话，我想我也一直会把坏人当好人看待。别误会，我并没针对任何人，还有，讲别人的坏话并不是不好，只要要选择适当的时间和地点讲坏话，我倒觉得一点都不坏，只要不伤到任何人就ok了。也许像我这种人才会这样想吧，因为我真的很需要别人的看法和想法去断定一个人的好坏。说我没主见也好，我就是这样。不知道上天赐给我的眼睛是来干嘛的。

我很纳闷，到底要怎样看清一个人的底呢？人的面具，我当然是永远看不透。他们如何对我，是出自好意呢还是有企图的？

看不出一个人的好坏，自然而然就相信他。人家说我太容易给别人我的信任。也因为这样，我一直都认为他们在伤害我，在背叛我对他们的信任。是我在自作多情吗？

一个刚认识的陌生人，我可以和他聊得天翻地覆，什么都聊，什么都拿来讲。好听来说是友善；难听来说是太随便，太相信人了！！哇。。我受不了了。鬼懂友善和随便的界线啊？鬼懂哪个程度已经超过那个界线了啊？人家说我是blur moi一点都没错。可是你以为我喜欢一直blur下去吗？我也很努力的去找我精明的一面啊。。我才不想当被人骗还是blur blur的！天啊。。精明的一面你跑到哪里去了啊？？

受不了了！

今天meeting的时候，看到他失落的样子，莫名其妙的感到内疚。是我弄到他这样失落，没精神的。我实在是很对不起这为朋友。

傍晚才回到家，一开机就看到他传来的简讯。一读到内容，内疚惭愧立刻被生气的心情取代。我再也看不下去了，再也受不了。你要烦人的话，请你找别人好吗？不要再烦我。我的忍耐是有限度的，你好自为之！

还有，最近不管在那里都会莫名其妙的感到孤单，也觉得被很多人冷落了。在学校，在家，在补习，都会有这种感触。也许是因为我的buddy一直都不在班吧，开始想念他的存在。哈哈。在班，朋友一堆堆的做在一起，只有我是做最远的。我知道我这样想是错的，可是我总觉得我越来越像局外人了。很难沟通，很难走动，心里很不是滋味。

拜二，竟可以为了那件小事，一整晚心情陷入了低潮。做功课的心情也没了。但是从中我感受到了朋友的关怀和爱。他们纷纷传了简讯问我安慰我。有点感动收到他们的安慰。还有一个“垃圾桶”，愿意承受我所丢给他的垃圾，还是24小时free service charge gok。很感动也很感谢有朋友在当我不是我的时候。。

Sweeto Memories

See how much we all grow in a glance?

Graduation trip (Primary) at Soon Hup Villa. Left: Doris(hasn't changed a bit, I think), Hui Wen, Bex, Me(傻样) & WC(looked so immature in long hair)

At one of the cafeteria at Soon Hup Villa. Left: Char, Su Yi, Bex, me, WC, Sophia(Become prettier n prettier le oh) & Isabel!

Time passes so fast. Without further notice, it was already lower secondary. This was taken during Teachers' Party 2005.

Upper secondary came like a storm(not sure if I use it right or not. :P). I didn't notice I'm already F4 until the orientation ended. Guess I was having too much fun in orientation. At Tze Jing's house acting silly 'Thanks' to Sing Tze. I saw these 2 leng zai that time at her house during CNY and when they were getting to leave, I whispered to her that 1 of them are quite good looking. Who knows she later really 把我的话当真, asked those 2 guys to take pic with me. That explains why my smile became like that. Grrr.

My first point is, we really grow up not only physically but mentally as well(well, not for some immature ppl). Time does change not only stuff but us too. I'm starting to love time as well.

My second point is, see the photo below? See how happy we were? See how cheerful we were? That was when there was no test after the holiday. Everyday we have to study for test. It's like test is forever haunting us. THIS is how we would live like when there is NO exams, NO projects, NO homework!!We were so happy. Was taken in Sing Tze's house during CNY. Left: 007, WC, Sam, SF, Sing Tze, Bex & Simon. Middle: The sa po)

6年的老朋友啊。。

悲欢离合。我知道，这是人生的必经过程。这15年来里，我所经过的只有“悲”和“离”，就是没有所谓的“欢”和“合”。

一个接一个走，走到世界的另个角落去，对我们真的很不公平，你知道吗？你的一通电话，告诉我你要移民去美国，这简直是非一般的“惊喜”。6年的友情难道就这样结束了吗？

拜二下午，婉琼，凤心，姝霏和我一起在Parkson欢送Becky走。我们先去Pizza Hut吃午餐。想不到和她分享最后的午餐的这一天会这么快到。我们趁她在吃着pizza的时候，把我们四个花了好几天做的纪念册悄悄的送个她，还命令她不准太快看完。看她blur blur的样子，想到都好笑。。

后来，就陪她去戏院看不出300。看戏的当儿，我差点忘了Becky是最dramatic的一个。300还蛮暴力的，我看戏时不时会听到她的“Aiyer。。”之类的。她就是不知道在戏院的时候要保持安静的哦。

之后，姝霏的车早到，就只剩我们四个在Coffee Bean nyam cha。也许那时候才开始发现时间一秒一秒的流失，我们在Coffee Bean疯狂的拍照。什么鬼脸，猫脸啦都摆出来。就这样Coffee Bean宁静的气氛下被我们几个吵的鸡犬不宁。幸好那里的工作人员没赶我们走。哈哈。

快乐的时间总是过得特别快。临走前，Becky还买了四个超可爱的stickers给我们。虽然不是什么值钱的东西，它却包含了她的心意。那才是可贵的。

我发现，跟他们几个疯的时候，我根本已经把Becky要移民的事抛到后脑了。整个下午甚至连想都没有想过。我就当着那是个每次假期是跟朋友出去逛逛的。欢送会这事我真的是彻彻底底的忘了。临走前，我只向Becky说声“Bye”，正如“再见”，以为我们还会再见面。想不到这个bye没有那么简单。

我玩得很开心。唯一一件事我没做到令我很遗憾。我并没抱她。临走前，因为太匆忙了，也没多看几眼。我真的不够朋友！希望送机时能再见最后一面，把我想说的全说给她听！！

(Thanks Char for the unforgettable photos)

我们等你回来，一辈子的朋友~

Leo Camp 2007

Long post ahead. Don't get sleepy yea. :)

The word 'camp' and you will immediately think of sleeping under tents, staying at jungles and smth like that.

Well, Leo camp is always different from others. Not to brag Leo Club or anyth. Instead of staying at outdoors, we stayed at Park City Hotel! 2 days & 1 night.

Reached there at 12pm on Saturday and guess what the first activity was? Seminar! At first, I thought it would be another boring talk on one particular lame topic. But I was wrong. The speaker, Mr. David Lee was incredibly friendly that I paid almost 100% attention to his speech. As you might know, I am an attention span. :P

Anyway, after the talk, we got to have free time (2 hours) to enjoy the hotel's facilities. Ee Ming and I preferred not to go to the pool. Instead, we took a stroll around the beach, watching some hotties playing volleyball.

After that, buffet dinner at Lambir Hall! The food was okayyy. But the game the OC and the other committee members planned was so fun. I really had enjoyed myself. I got to know more people throughout the camp. Thanks to the OC for grouping us 'coz without the groups, I doubt I will not know anyone there. Btw, my group name was Snow White. Heh, cute group name.

After the dinner was the free time we got to enjoy by ourselves. But we had to sleep by 12am. Ah well, that's the rules. But of course, being rebellious as usual, I didn't follow. Instead, I went to my friends' rooms to sneak in here and there. But in the end, was caught by the OC and was reluctantly to go back to my room. Heh.

The next morning, buffet breakfast! Yep, another buffet. I must say, the breakfast they prepared was yummy! Maybe I was too hungry but it sure was nice.

Then, the fun really began. Telematch by the beach! I heard there were supposed to be 3 games but then we ended up playing only 1 of the 3 games-football. I didn't get to participate as maybe, seeing me as the youngest in my group,(Some were 17, 19, 24 ..) they didn't think I am strong enough. Ah well, I'm never good at sports anyway.

We didn't win in the end. Ee Ming's group(Cinderella) won. After the telematch, I followed a friend I just met, Janet to play at the pool. At first, I didn't prepare to swim. I just wanted to dip my legs in it nia. But then, many so called friends pulled me under the water. I panicked ok! You can imagine my face when I panicked under water. So embarrassing.

After finished bathing and all that, we checked out by 1pm smth. Then, we headed to the restaurant again to have our buffet lunch. Yep, once again, buffet! It was considered our last buffet in the camp. We ate as many as we could. :D

The last activity was of course the seminar again. The first seminar was about Management while the last was about Leadership. Once again, Mr. David Lee was the speaker and yes, I listened to every word he said. I was lucky to have Ben in my group as he's very funny and always made us laugh. Reminds me of Shih Peng.

Last but not least was the photo session. We had our group photo together. So nice ok. Then it was buh bye for us.

Sweet memories on this camp are being added in my 8 seconds of memory now. Gonna miss this camp.

p/s: There was this dog, following Ee Ming & I almost every second throughout this camp. Even when we walked by the beach, at our room, dinner/lunch. I gotta say this dog is quite faithful.

Guys vs Gals

Here's a story I heard.

It's believed that guy Z is chasing after a gal A for quite a time. It is heard that gal A never opens her heart to guy Z although guy Z is rather charming. Everyday, guy Z would go and find gal A. In short, guy Z would grab any opportunities just to talk to gal A.

And when gal A starts to be a bit soft-hearted towards guy Z, gal A is told later that guy Z has gave up chasing her. Instead, he is chasing after another gal.

You would probably think that gal A would cry, be desperate, beg guy Z to come back to her.

But,

Instead of doing those, she actually smiles when she hears that. She actually is free from that guy.

Anyway, my point is, don't trust a guy completely. I heard many stories about guys being unfaithful either to their wives or their gfs. But that doesn't mean gals are very faithful 'coz I also think gals can't resist the temptation to flirt with other guys even when they're in a relationship.

But at least guys usually are stronger to face the truth, to face betrayal made by their partners, no?

Heh, once again, another of my deep thoughts..

I'm Touched II

When Mr. Halim announced whoever wants to join the homestay at Japan, organised by.. (Char, care to ans this plz?), feel free to get the form from him. The first time I heard this, a thought came to me,"What la.. Even if I wanna go and fill the form, also no chance la coz muz be many ppl participating." And the thought of getting the form disappeared from my mind instantly.

Later, this morning heard that SF, Char, Vivian, Siti and Sophia are planning to join it. I then, recalled what it is and the thought of getting the form again resurfaced in my mind. After much persuation from SF and the anxiety to explore more outside boring Malaysia, I've decided to ask my parents about it. But I was worried would they turn on me since the fee is quite expensive. We're talking about RM4700 and not RM470 ok!

I was soooooo happy when dad is willing to pay a huge sum of money just to let me gain more knowledge in Japan! Hmm, for mom, I haven't asked her but I'm 90% sure she will let me.

"随便你。" is her answer when I ask her tonight, I guess. :D

XXXXXX shop

When my mom recommended me to a shop to buy table lamp, I followed. And guess which shop she took me? Of all the light shops in Miri, she HAD to choose XXXXXX shop. When I saw a familiar guy in the shop, my blood immediately turned cold. It was so called apj's dad ok! My gosh. And I realised I was going to her shop. The only thing I was praying was she would not be in the shop as I don't know how to face her later on. Luckily, luck was on my side. Her father really is a nice guy, advising us a lot of things and eventually, I bought a table lamp cost.. I better don't say the price. Let you guys guess yourself lah. Hahah..

Cacat Girl

Went to PBSM training the whole day. The training was fun. I learnt how to march, lead the members, bandage and more. Abt the marching, I was having a hard time following the timing. When other people were shouting kiri, I raised my kanan leg and vice versa. So embarrassing ok. It's official - I'm cacat!

Btw, I heard that this guy likes this girl very much. And he even bought drinks for her occasionally. And you know what's the most interesting part of all? He's gonna write a song especially for her! He has finished the lyrics and the only thing that stops him from singing to this girl is the 曲子 hasn't been made. Really like in the movies. Wow, more romantic than the guy Shu Ling mentioned in her blog.